Dead Solid Pluperfect

A Hot Buttered Guff™ Production


Here’s what Steve Beigel, hereafter known as I or Me, looks like when spoiling a perfectly fine photo of a scenic landscape. It has been noted by some that this fairly accurately encapsulates my contribution to the general welfare of the society I have stumbled my way through for oh so many years. My accomplishments in life might generously be described by a thesis entitled “Haphazard Noggin Along the Roadside.” The generous part would be the word “Noggin.”

I was born in 1946, reached maturity in California, graduated from Loyola Marymount University with a Bachelor of Arts in English, and subsequently began my odyssey through life on the road less traveled. I’ve been a magazine owner/editor, a nightclub owner/manager, a homeless bum, an unpublished novelist, and a variety of other marginal enterprises other than the software owner/engineer I eventually settled on to feed my face and provide modest dwelling accommodations for myself, and eventually, my wife and six step-children.

The photo above was taken in 2001, when I was fifty-five. All photos of me after this date have mysteriously disappeared. I suspect the Homeland Security forces have absconded with them, but at this point that is mere conjecture. The story featured here of the unethical scoundrels of Arbortext is not.

Feel free to leave a comment or you can contact me directly at

My years in the software industry also provide the backdrop for my novel Skeletons and Keys, a wickedly humorous story of love, tragedy, betrayal, and revenge. It is featured at
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