Dead Solid Pluperfect

A Hot Buttered Guff™ Production

Arbortext Accounting Fraud #37: The Choice Chunk Of Change

Chapter Thirty-Seven

The Choice Chunk Of Change


The Audit at least produced one positive result.

The tiny sop from Mark Robinson that Arbortext might not be Interpreting the contract fairly for Blueberry and clearly owed us royalties on Maintenance sales and renewals, though cheering Mary and I but little, had a major impact on Dick Blair and Larry Bernheim and their espousal of Arbortext’s Buy Out offer.

The $100,000 Buy Out offer had never had any validity even by Dave Peralta’s skewed logic. In his initial presentation of the attractiveness of this offer, he figured Blueberry’s royalties over the three years he was placing on the Contract’s remaining length at $77,000. To offer a hundred grand instead was, to him, a magnanimous gesture.

What poppy-cock!

Arbortext wasn’t going to cease using Blueberry’s technology because of the Buy Out.  They wanted to own PERPETUAL RIGHTS TO BLUEBERRY’S INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY! To use any way they wanted. Making them direct competitors to Blueberry using Blueberry’s own technology for the ridiculous amount of $23,000 (100,000 – 77,000).

Of course, Dwan and Blair and Bernheim didn’t give a rat’s rear end about Blueberry’s future. Only Mary and I did. It was our livelihood. Our company. So Blair and Bernheim’s insistence for nearly a year that this was a real good offer was total, vicious baloney meant only to deceive a nodding, half-interested Judge. And to make money for Dwan, Bernheim, and Blair while destroying me.

But the Audit now wiped out any chance that this ludicrous Buy Out offer could be foisted off as an attractive offer even upon a ten year old child, let alone the Judge. The unpaid maintenance royalties alone amounted to more than $100,000. A proper interpretation of the contract would add several hundred thousand more on top of it. The 80% that had been lopped off way back in July of 2002 by a vindictive Jim Sterken. Plus, you know, that pesky $4,000,000 Intermarket disappearance thing.

Not that Arbortext accepted Mark Robinson’s professional analysis and started paying us for all the maintenance sales (which would also point toward unreported previous sales). That would amount to contractual compliance and a definite Scaled Up Opportunity for Blueberry royalties. Not gonna happen on Jim Sterken’s watch. No baby. Arbortext’s response to the audit (and later Parametric Technology’s) was to ignore it completely and proceed as though it had never been developed and never was released. It, like the Contract, was just another piece of paper they had no qualms about ignoring.

Which did not surprise Mary or me. What we had needed from Robinson was a direct indication of wrong doing that we could take to Arbitration, assured of a victorious outcome. His white washed Audit Report cover up merely hinted at the extent of the problem and then snuck out the back door leaving the burden entirely on us to finish the “forensic” investigation we had hired him to do.  To “play out” the scenario.

But at least Bernheim and Blair were derailed. The Buy Out offer was never mentioned by these two charmers again. Never existed and never sold and never shoved down our throats for over a year. Welcome to Never Never Land. Bernheim and his despicable client jumped on our bandwagon like they had been there all along in rabid support. No donations to the cause, of course. But we love ya, Mary, go get ‘em.

And Blair. Good old Aptly Named Dick. There was no way he wanted to ever revisit a year long power play to trumpet an offer that was exposed as absurd and have it, and his failure to jam it through, rubbed in his face like a, well, like a nice hot Blueberry Pie, which was known to provide protection against degenerative brain diseases and actually would have been good for him to eat, spiritually and physically. Much better for him than Crow.

No, Dick had a much more significant topic to discuss with the judge now.

His pay check.

He was DONE.

It was time for the “nice chunk of change.”

Wondrous Larry Bernheim, after a year of lawyer diddling, had succeeded in pushing the VistaSource debt collection through a few papers and systems and they finally signed off and agreed to pay us the $120,000 they owed.

It had taken almost two years for the combined incompetence/plain old gouging of both Blair and Bernheim to accomplish a simple debt collection matter that Mary or I or Dwan or all three of us together could have accomplished with ease. At no cost to any of us. Two years from that fateful day we had walked out of Blair’s office with a sinking feeling that his Receivership intended to thwart the court ruling and wipe us out. As it had. As he had. Two years after Mary had  the deal almost done, but was ordered by Blair to cease and desist because, in his fateful and evil words, it was “his money.”

Yes, indeedy weedy, it sure was.

The serious coins were now at last right there on the table for attorney hands to grovel over. This cab ride was at an end. All Bar heads to the till. Stand aside or be trampled.

Bernheim reached in first and took his 20% off the top.

His client, my dear absconded friend Kevin Dwan, should have ruefully noted by now that his association with Bernheim and the disastrous counsel provided by Bernheim was certainly turning out well for Larry. If not for himself.

And now, at long last, after two years of strenuous failure and incompetence and repugnant ethics and sabotaging and virtual inaction and playing dumb, the consummate Dickster presented his Time Card. He had failed to collect from VistaSource and he had failed to stop the Audit and he had failed to disburse any royalties. The only thing he had succeeded in doing over the two years of his Receivership was turning a secretary’s marginal task into a full-blown windfall for the Dick Blair bank account.

Included, of course, were the various and copious attorney gouges for “Reviewing Status.” This was an attorney concept of viewing their brains as batteries that needed to be recharged out of their client’s wallets at various intervals to keep said brains from simply forgetting what the hell they had already done and learned about the client’s case. Continually charging for no work and no progress. Simply to remain current. Up to date. On the job. Remembering, without secretarial assistance, what the hell the client’s name was.

But Dick was not one to confine himself to standard gouges, of which there were a “significant” amount. No, Dick was bold. Dick actually had entries on his Time Card for “Thinking.” I kid you not.


Did Dick consider this an additional function of his brain? Something only highly skilled $350 an hour lawyers had developed? Did this ancient art occur at a desk? In the shower? Mowing the back yard? Fully clothed?


What was he doing when he was actually doing? Was the thinking turned off? Scary.

The sum total of all this sinister Time Card bloating was nearly $70,000! The cost of the original year long court trial itself! The unbelievable gall of this miserable, foul smelling, oil spill, wild life poisoning little huckster. Hey Dick! Bend over and look around and upward between your legs for a vivid view of the essential you.

Calculator time.

Let’s see. $70,000 for Dick. $24,000 for Larry. Out of $120,000 from VistaSource. A small tasteful $94,000 for the venerable esquire thieves and a whopping $26,000 left for myself and Dwan, the owners of the collectible debt, to split. Some day, that is. Not now. Only attorney disbursements occurred now. Disbursements to Dwan and myself did not occur until nine months later in May of 2006. After two more court sessions, two more Judge’s rulings, and countless attorney emails back and forth attempting to grapple with the enormous concept of a 50/50 split of the remaining money.

After every last nickel that could be squeezed out of the case of Beigel vs Dwan had been layered like a frosted smile across the top of Dick Blair’s massive cake.

What a job, attorney boys. What a masterful job. Hey, Dwan! All that intercession you panted after Blair for. That produced ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Are you getting a clue yet? Is the light filtering into the long lost city between your ears?

Were there any embarrassed sentiments from Dick and Larry over the Net to Clients? Not even a whisper. Not so much as a tiny flush of red around the gills. After all, there was money lying there on the table. It was their Divine Right to reach in and fistful it into their suitcases.

Lord. I know Mary wouldn’t question You about this ugly fact of life. And I’m not either, actually. I would, however, really like a Saia-like Hint from You of absolute assurance that THIS KIND OF HORSE PUCKY GETS PUNISHED IN THE HEREAFTER. WITH GUSTO. LOTS OF IT. WADS AND WADS OF IT. Thank you. Best Regards, Me. The kid you caused. Remember?

Oh verily I say unto thee unsuspecting seeker of justice through lawyers and legal thoroughfares: THINK TWICE. Give your outrage and anger a chance to subside. Remember that dinosaurs lived for 260 million years and nobody wonders one whit about which of them stepped on whom’s head.

Then THINK TWICE AGAIN. Seriously consider just eating shit and moving on.


It is an Unclean Land. Full of Unclean Hands.

And once you step through the door to it, there is no way back. For there is no back to return to.

To be continued . . . Free Hit Counter website statistics


August 18, 2008 - Posted by | Business, Law, Life, Stories, Writing | , , , ,

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: