Dead Solid Pluperfect

A Hot Buttered Guff™ Production

Arbortext Accounting Fraud #30: There Is No Joy In Mudville

Chapter Thirty

There Is No Joy In Mudville


The phone conference with Judge Jensen on May 13 was brief.

Mary reported to him that we had retained Kessler International to perform the Arbortext audit and they were ready to begin work. The Judge was pleased with this news and once again gave us the go ahead to get cracking on the matter.

Aptly Named Dick Blair’s attempts to get the Judge to reverse his thinking and accept a Buy Out were also once again swept aside. As were Bernheim’s strenuous attempts to gain the floor.

Strike two, Dick. Are we done yet?

Not by the hair of his chinny, chin chin.

Scarcely a week after the conference call, Dick huffed up to the plate waving his bat for one more crack at knocking us out of the ball park.

On May 21, we received a fax from Blair informing us that he had received a voice mail from Dave Peralta that concerned him so much he felt the need to schedule another phone conference with Judge Jensen to revisit Arbortext’s Buy Out offer and stop the audit.

What breathtaking news had been relayed by Peralta? Nothing more than his confidence that Judge Jensen would support the Buy Out, especially if Dick let the Judge know that Arbortext thought they had a “viable alternative” to Blueberry that would be less expensive. (See Exhibit K for Dick’s brief letter & Dave’s brief voice mail transcript.)

This development was about as stunning as NASA reporting that the earth was still round.

Once again, however, we get a glimpse into the wondrous logic of one Dave Peralta, CFO. If Arbortext had found a cheaper alternative to Blueberry, why not take it and cancel not only the Blueberry contract but the Buy Out offer itself! Dave was new at the semi-extortion racket, apparently. In all fairness, it was a backwards sort of extortion in that the extorter was the one demanding that his money be taken and the threat was to give his money to someone else. Confusing badness, for sure.

Since this information from Peralta was not new in any way, shape, or form – even to the tortured residence of Aptly Named Dick’s brain – some embellishments obviously had to be provided to this bare plate of stale baloney in order for the Judge to find it appetizing.

Ergo, to make it look new and dramatic, Blair sent the judge a three page letter buttressed with forty-five pages of exhibits. All of which had already been submitted to the judge in the past. Blair even included the Arbortext/Blueberry contract, which had been submitted so many times in the past year that everyone probably had it memorized by heart. What was new about the contract was entirely within the warped and evil bean holder atop Blair’s shoulders. Evidently, he felt that the sheer weight of these forty-five pages would tilt the judge’s head forward upon the blotter once again.

Blair did not stop there, though. He also sent a communiqué to Mike Kessler ordering him to cease and desist in his attempt to perform an audit. Where Blair presumed to conjure up his authority to make this demand was, once again, somewhere in the warped and evil area we have just alluded to. Up to this point in his Receivership, Dick had been painfully attentive to each and every breath of the Judge’s decrees (how else to cleverly subvert them), but this straightforward “do the audit” decree had pushed Dick into the realm of pointedly defying the Judge by refusing to step aside, shut up with the Peralta machinations, and allow the audit to proceed.

I suppose it would not be appropriate to openly question what motivated Dick Blair to be an avid supporter and abettor of Arbortext’s views and wishes instead of the Blueberry clients he purportedly Received And Disbursed For, or to insinuate that perhaps Arbortext had some sort of gift dangling out there for Dick’s Christmas stocking if he were to succeed in quashing Blueberry’s audit attempt. So I will reluctantly not mention or speculate on these fairly obvious issues. Besides, ethical behavior and Dick Blair could not be reasonably associated in the same sentence.

Mary was outraged by Blair’s ruthless and obsessive determination to sabotage our audit. Not to imply that I wasn’t outraged also. But that goes without saying. I mention Mary because she refused to let Blair have a one sided presentation to the Judge. In fact, she took the opportunity to not only present our side, but to excoriate Blair’s letter, his motives, and his abuse of power as Receiver.

I have to say this was about as point, blank pissed as I had ever seen Mary get in a written document. See Exhibit L for Dick’s three page letter and Exhibit M for Mary’s response. Fun reading, ladies and gentleman. IMO. In fact, lest you opt not to click on these exhibits, let me quote from Mary’s letter a rather succinct and classic, if somewhat sarcastic, distillation of Dick Blair in action:


“Mr. Blair now coins this proposal as a ‘threshold approach,’ which from what we can gather, will allow him to look at certain documents, question certain questions, in other words, comb, sift, discern, agree, argue, wonder, if in fact, he can affirm that your ruling to allow this audit to take place is the wise approach.”


Okay, so indulge me. I had quite a tee-hee over that one.

And so another phone conference with the Judge was scheduled for June 15 and another month went by with zero progress accomplished.

This month-per-matter time frame vis a vis Court Proceedings was becoming all too familiar. Every time an attorney sneezed (and they all seemed to get the sniffles with great regularity), there would be at least a month’s recess, often times six weeks, while the other attorney formulated a Gesundheit response and the Court located a free spot on its calendar to resume the proceedings. It is not litigants that are clogging up the court systems it is the court system’s very own HUMONGOUS NONSENSE that is accomplishing this clogging phenomenon. And all for one reason alone: Attorney coffer bloating. Padding the time card. Wedging the dough out of the schmo. If a schmo ran out of money, his case got concluded at the speed of light.

We passed the days till this next phone conference by dismantling our existence at 995 Court Lane. Mary concentrated on the packing things up phase and I concentrated on the hauling packed up things to storage phase.

It was super duper fun. Sealing up inside boxes all fifteen years of our memories here in our wonderful home, and taking them to a dark storage room to remain unviewed and unappreciated for who knows how long. Very soul cleansing. Yes, indeed. Thank you so much, Jim Sterken and Dick Blair and Dave Peralta and Kevin Dwan and all the other mutant cesspool bugs crawling around in this woeful saga.

What to store, what to take with us, what to give away, what to leave behind, what to put in the dumpster. What a mess.

On June 15, despite Blair’s forty-five pages of non-new previously digested new developments, the judge reiterated that we had the right to perform the audit and could proceed with it.

Why he did not simply disbar Dick Blair and toss his butt into jail for shysting above and beyond the call of greed and wasting taxpayer money with his utterly obvious and ridiculous new-evidence ploy should have been puzzling to me, but it wasn’t. I had, by now, come to expect utter nonsense from the justice system and the ham actors strutting across its stage. I was becoming Jaded. It was probably an appropriate time for me to attempt passing the Bar exam and becoming a paid cab driver myself.

Aptly Named Dick had to content himself with a double dip of the coffer bloating and step aside. Having lost most of his worth to Dave Peralta and Arbortext, he slunk quietly into the background. Tail between his legs. But fat wallet smile upon his sinister little face.

I watched in my imagination the slow motion effects of my knuckles forcefully contacting his physiognomy and pooshing his smile clear across his cheek and directly into his ear hole.

Strike three, Dick. Now take your bat and get the eff out of here.


To be continued . . .

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July 28, 2008 - Posted by | Business, Law, Life, Stories, Writing | , , , ,

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